Getting Better

Thank you to everyone who has visited my blog and has left supportive comments. I really appreciate it. It means more to me than you can possibly know. I was really struggling there for awhile but I am getting better. I know a lot of people feel that going to AA meetings are the only way to kick the alcohol habit but I am not doing that. I am forcing myself to quit drinking during the week (successfully) and only drinking on Friday and Saturday nights. In other words I am returning to my previously more disciplined life. I am finding that I drink less on the weekends and not at all during the week. What I am doing may not be the best way to go about things but its what is working for me right now. I think in a month or so I will try to go a full 30 days with no booze at all.

I think what sort of has scared me straight is my family. Not that anyone has told me to quit drinking...its not that. It's that my father, a raging alcoholic for my entire life (I am 40), and my brother who is 35 years old have been going on ridiculous drinking binges and seeing their behavior has made me resolve to never ever let myself get that way. My brother drunk dialed me several times early in the morning after an all night binge (he didn't even remember the next day) and my dad stayed on a binge for about a week recently. Seeing the way they are living has just scared me. I don't want to be like them...the walking dead basically. In their own ways they have both given up on life and they are quite co-dependent on each other I think. It just makes me sad. I want to be there for my husband and never ever force him to see me lose complete control that way.

I will try to blog more and visit my favorite sober bloggers sites as well. I have been trying to stay really busy so that I am not tempted by the booze as much and that has kept me from blogging as much.