I am extremely hungover and disappointed in myself. Again. I had been doing pretty well and then this weekend I drank each day and was hungover on Sunday. Which I dealt with by drinking more and it just got out of hand last night. I drank tons and was drunker than I have been in a very long time. Needless to say that today has been a complete waste and I am so angry at myself.
I have started feeling like such a failure. I feel that I have made some bad decisions professionally and that I am not as successful as I want to be. Also many of my bad decisions have been preceded by bad reactions to problems and challenges in the workplace. I just feel like such a failure as a person sometimes. I look at my friends from college and so many of them are millionaires and have powerful jobs and I have just not achieved at the same level and I feel like such a loser. I am sure that all of my feelings are exacerbated today by my hangover and the fact that I have had booze in my system over the past several days. I hope I feel better by the weekend as long as I stay away from the booze this week.
3 comments:
alcohol addiction is an illness where we get "well" sweetie. we aren't "bad" people (or "failures") getting "good".. we are sick/ill people who get well.
at the end of my drinking, my hangovers were almost impossible. i cringe to even think about it now. i pretty much wanted to DIE i was in so much physical and emotional pain.
i know how you feel and am sorry you are hurting. I promise there is a better way of living girlie. on Miss Shadow's blog today she put this:
"insanity is not running into the same wall over and over again. insanity is expecting a different result." i've heard it put as "insanity is continuing to do the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result."
Molly's comment is *perfect*.
I also had horrible hangovers, the physical misery and the self hate were too much. I don't ever want to feel that way again as long as I live. Hang in there sister, this stuff is hard, but it is worth it, we just have to keep trying.
Please don't beat yourself up. Just pick back up where you were with abstinence and remember this emotional pain you're in right now, so you can maybe avoid it next time. Next time you're tempted to pick up a drink, you might be able to stop yourself if you can remember how you feel right now.
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