Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Pain
I haven't posted for a couple of weeks. The first week was because I was not drinking and I traveled one state over to visit my dad for a few days. Then my husband, my father, and I took a 5 day trip to Seattle. I told myself I wasn't going to drink while I was there. But I did. At every meal. I slept fine and handled the alcohol OK while on the trip so it wasn't a problem when I was there. But we got home on Sunday night and I drank a little too much. And then I did the same thing last night. And now I am depressed and feeling like a loser. It doesn't help that before we left on this trip I lost my temper with one of the schedulers at my dog groomer and now that I have returned they have informed me that they won't groom my dogs anymore because I snapped at the scheduler. I am trying to come up with some kind of story and an apology so I can get the dogs in there again. But the combination of completely falling off the wagon (not that I was 100% on it anyway) and feeling like a jerk just makes me hate myself so much. I am really unhappy right now and its all my own fault. I really wish I were a completely different person - you know one of those people who never pisses anyone off. I hope I can pull it together.
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9 comments:
I don't know anybody who never pisses anyone else off. And if I met them, I'm not sure if I would trust them. We all make mistakes. All you can do is apologise and see what happens next.
not possible - to be "one of those people who never pisses anyone off." such person doesn't exist! it's best to turn the ass-kicking machine to the OFF position :)
easier said than done sometimes
Sorry I am late to respond. I am always so happy to see a new post from you, but it broke my heart to see your title.
You are human. You will piss people off. You will make mistakes. It's okay, really, it is.
I hope you are doing better. Have you thought about taking a month off drinking? I swear, my 40 days on the wagon made a huge difference. (therapy helped too!) hang in there sis! I think of you often. You have a friend in me.
Have you been unable to get to meetings or talk to other AA's?
Just wondered.
'we are not bad people getting good we are sick people getting well'
Keep coming back!
Hi Bunny, just stopping by to say hello. hope you're having a good June.
Hey...Aplogize and say you had personal issues...I had friends who joined AA, said they were going to RI for a meeting and their house was robbed...They said this to AA & the DOG GROOMER...Watch IT!
hey Bunny, you've been gone awhile. just wondering how you are.
Hey. I found you via Life in Soberville. Your posts sound so much like my life prior to me getting sober (for the last time.) I am the queen of the relapse. It took me a very long time to "get it." Just hoping that you are ok. I rememer these feelings well.
Feeling shame for things that I had done drunk kept me using for many a year. I had to stop beating myself up. It was killing me. I was starting to believe that things I did while drunk was who I was... not what I did... make sense? getting sobriety is a process, some find it fast, some find it slower. Just don't give up..
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