I feel such rage and anger lately and I hate it. It's not making me drink...quite the opposite. Watching my dad continue his long journey to completely destroy himself makes me not want to drink at all. I am just so angry because my dad has been a drunk pretty much my whole life and this last episode has just pushed me to the edge. I have had it. No more saving him from himself. The next time he wants to drunk drive he can just have it. Go to prison. What the fuck do I care?
As a follow up to my last post here is how my dad's hospital visit went:
8:30 am yesterday I get a call from the limo driver that he got my dad from the hotel to the hospital
11:45 am I get a message from my father that went like this, "Hello, its your father. My procedure was canceled because the doctor got called away. Gotta go, my ride is here."
And I haven't heard another word from him.
So this is what I think happened: I think they did a routine blood test when they checked him in for his procedure and realized that he still had alcohol in his system from the most recent drinking binge and then they sent him home because they couldn't anesthetize him. I will never know what happened but I think that makes a lot of sense. Doctor's don't just get "called away" from medical procedures that have been scheduled in advance. Maybe delayed but not canceled. What a complete asshole my dad is.
I am going to send him the enormous bill for that limo service. I know it will be at least $600 and he can fucking pay it...if he had even gotten his medical procedure done I wouldn't be as mad as I am now but what a total jerk.
I am taking a long break from my family. I am tired of being the go-to person to solve all of their stupid and self destructive problems. I can say with all honesty that not one person in my family has problems that they didn't create for themselves.
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5 comments:
Please, please, please consider going to Alanon - you qualify and you will benefit greatly from it.
Our crazy families' behavior rotates around the alcoholic. Saving him/her from herself, spending money on them, and worrying like crazy about them.
The program can teach you to love your father, yet detach from his crazy-making.
Do it for yourself. You are in my prayers. PP
I'm so sorry you're hurting from this. sounds like the straw that's breaking the camels back.
he's your dad, but he's not your responsibility. please detach, with love.
my hubby learned a long time ago not to give in to his mom, who is not an addict, but needy and childlike. he just cuts her out, and he has to. she is too much to handle.
i hope he gets his surgery, but it's so not on your shoulders, and should never be.
love you bunny, keep your chin up.
I'm with PP. You are in my thoughts.
yeah. all that is what they call 'al anon territory'
Please, get to al-anon.
You are in my thoughts.
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